An idea is born.

I am an Executive Assistant.
Executive.
Assistant.
It sounded nice at the time I took the job seven years ago, but now I just want to piss all over it.

I started off the year by telling myself that I was grateful for my job. "So many Americans are losing their jobs everyday," I would say. I had to remind myself daily that I was fortunate to have a job that liked handing out checks rather than pink slips. (Do they still do that when they fire people?) Anyway, that was eight months ago and the reminder isn't working anymore. Instead, I come into work every morning ready to bite someone's head off at the slightest sideways glance or, what I consider to be, stupid question.

I am fully aware that there are folks out there desperately seeking employment. I get that. In fact, I would gladly replace some of my incompetent co-workers with some of those eager folks. This isn't meant to offend anyone, and I am still quite grateful to get a check twice a month. I like paying my bills, eating, health insurance and even having some spending cash. What I don't like is waking up every morning and dreading what lies ahead.

I'll give you a brief example. I was sitting at my cubicle (minding my own business) when one of my co-workers (a Stanford grad who probably makes twice as much as I do) asks me, "Can you please whole-punch these sheets for me?" I sat there and I looked at him for one or two seconds waiting for the punchline, but it never came. I turned around and grabbed the whole punch that sits on my desk, out in the open for everyone to use, and whole-punched his three sheets of paper.

THAT, my friends, is when I ask, "Seriously?"